Everthing I Wanted
by StardustZero
Summary: Duo runs away heartbroken after Heero and Wufei dump him for Relena. But the past soon catches up to him in a very unexpected way. 1x2x5 3x4
1. Default Chapter

Ok well it seems the muse bunnies are hoppin again, imagine that! Anyway this is probably one of the more angst things I'm going to write. I've come to realize I abuse Duo a lot, but you know you enjoy it! Most of this will be in Duo's POV but other than that it will be 3rd person. This is a 1X2X5 and 3X4 story with some 1X5X?

Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't even bother pretending to.

Everything I Wanted

Chapter 1: My Happy Ending

_Lets talk this over, It's not like were dead._

_Was it something you did? Was it something I said?_

_Don't leave me hanging, in a city so dead,_

_Held up so high on such a breakable thread._

_You were all the things I thought I knew, and I thought we could be..._

There's always those certain little clues, the ones that tell you something big is going to happen, something you're probably not going to enjoy. The little things like how they start staying later at the office every night, to the point where they're to tired to even hug you when they come home, or how 2 day missions turn to two weeks. That's when I really start to worry. I never thought I'd find myself in this situation, suddenly doubting myself and them; maybe it's all in my head, maybe not.

I don't want to doubt them, I love Heero and Wufei to the point it hurts, when their not here I stop eating and Quatre is forced to trick me into eating, I can tell I'm worrying him too. I can't help it; I'm one of those people that if I fall, I fall hard. It didn't use to be this way, during the war we were happy, so in love that we couldn't be separated for more than a day. But then the war ended, they went to work for the preventers. I can't fit in there; I won't even pretend to try; besides uniforms aren't my thing. Now I might be regretting that decision, at least I could be with them at work.

So I sit here waiting for them to come home, their only 3 hours late. I'm not too worried...yet. Quatre and Trowa are in the kitchen talking, or doing something else I'm not quite sure. The door creaks open and my 2 lovers walk in. Joy fills me at the sight of them, I jump off the couch and run towards them.

"Wufei! Heero!" I cry as I wrap them in a bear hug, they seem tense, but I dismiss it, after all they just got off work. Reaching up I kiss Heero fully on the lips, their cold and uninviting. I pull back startled; no matter how tired they are they usually at least smiled and gave me a kiss when they got home. It was like an alarm going off in my head, yup something was wrong. And then the fatal words no one wants to hear fell from Wufei's lips.

"Duo we need to talk."

The fear coiled inside me like a snake, reading to strike and deliver the fateful poison that would end my life. Slowly I sank back onto the couch and stared as they sat on the couch across from me.

"What is it?" The words sounded scared, my throat felt dry.

"Duo, me and Heero..." Wufei looked away. "I mean Heero and I...don't want to be in a relationship with you anymore." It was like Armageddon on the last day of earth. The roaring filled my ears. Figures, the guy who talks so much about justice can't even look me in the eye as he breaks my heart and scatters it into the wind. It makes me sick. Now Heero is talking, I guess it looks like I'm paying attention but because he's looking at me. I can't hear a word he says over the fog that's entered my mind but at least he has the guts to look me in the eye.

"You guys are dumping me?" I asked trying to fight off the fog; if I give in I think I'll faint. "Both of you? Why?"

_You were everything, everything that I wanted......_

"We don't love you anymore." Heero stated it like he was giving a weather report. "Your childish, you sit around all day doing nothing, and you're annoying." I'll give Heero credit, when he wants to break something off he does it cleanly. I suddenly feel sick to my stomach, why does this always happen to me, is Shinigami really not allowed to love? But something doesn't add up for me, why now, who changed and for what reason.

I hear the door swing open behind me and I assume its Quatre and Trowa coming to say hello, great flippin timing. I gasp and the sound of dishes breaking makes me turn my head. Quatre is behind me, Trowa is holding him and both are staring off to my right. I turn some more to see what has them so captivated and freeze.

The T.V. which I had neglected to turn off earlier is now showing the nightly news. And there in almost real life is a tape of Relena leaning over to kiss Heero, then turning the other way to kiss Wufei. I banner across the bottom reads "Foreign Minister and her two lovers enjoy a vacation in Jamaica 1 month ago". The same time Heero and Wufei had disappeared on there two week assignment. The pieces click together like a puzzle, the late nights, the long trips, and the womanly smell. How could I have missed it?

I turned wide eyes to them, at least they have the decency to look away, how nice their feeling ashamed now.

"How could you?" They didn't answer. "How the fuck could you?!" I guess I'm screaming at them now, my throat hurts but I'm past caring. Tears prick my eyes but I refuse to cry, I won't cry for them. "I loved you...I fucking LOVED you!!!" The words are streaming out like acid, and can't stop it nor do I care to try. The pain inside was tearing me a part; I wanted relief, anything to make it stop.

"Quatre!" I turn to see Trowa holding Quatre limply in his arms. He raises worried pleading eyes to me. Yeah I get the message, my emotion are too much, their hurting Quatre. I turn and race up to my room, grab a duffle bag out of the closet and start cramming stuff into it. I couldn't stay here, it would hurt too much. Zipping the bag I turn to look at the room one last time, I had so many good memories here. I start to head down the stairs but stop when I hear voices downstairs, sounds like Trowa and Heero.

I don't want to be here; turning back I head toward the window and silently jump down. I'm sad that I have to leave Trowa and Quatre, but they would understand, I'll message them later. I start running; maybe if I run fast enough I won't have to think about it. Sometimes I wish I could be the wind, free to fly wherever I please. But no, instead I'm Shinigami. The God of Death that will continuously lose everything I love. They don't love me... My knees gave out in the middle of running and I fall hard on to my hands and knees.

The images won't stop circling in my mind, them kissing her...it's making me dizzy. I can't be with them anymore, I can never go back. That makes me want to laugh, why can't I hold on to what I love? First Solo, then the church, and now Heero and Wufei. For once I want to see the justice he talks about so much. I guess I started laughing, because suddenly I was laughing so much I was crying, the laughing came first right?

The emotions were building up inside, needing a larger relief, this was the same feeling I had when the church burned down. I threw my head back and just screamed.

4 months later

It always sucks when you lose something very important to you. You go through all sorts of stages, first its trying to kill yourself. I didn't do to well with that one, I've never believed killing yourself was the answer, that was more HIS thing anyway. Notice how I won't say his name, that's part of it. Second is trying to kill the people who wronged you. That's not much my thing either, yeah Relena's a bitch but she's one lucky bitch, she must be pretty special. I guess the main reason is I don't want to hurt them. Yes even though it happened I still love them. Funny isn't it? They hate me so much but I can't stop myself form loving them.

There's the third thing, denial. I tried to deny that I even loved them, and that hurt because I knew it was a lie. And more than anyone else I never want to lie to myself. So then was the stage a moving on. It took a long time; I didn't want to do anything. But now I'm happy to say that I have a stable job, I work on engines for boats and cars at this shop on the coast. In my free time I volunteer at the orphanage in town as well as the animal shelter. I also bought a cat. I've always wanted one, his name is Bast and he's an Abyssinian.

We live in a condo with its own private beach, expensive? Hell yeah but that's what those hacking skills are for. I had to change my name; it hurt too much when people called me Duo, so I changed it. I'm now called Ryo. And it's safe to say I'm happy, as happy as you can expect at least. I still miss them, especially at night, but that's what Bast is for, he's very protective. I never did message Quatre and Trowa, I wonder if they think I'm dead. I see them on the news a lot, Quatre being a gazillioniare and all. I also see them...actually I've made it a habit to keep track of them. I guess part of me can't let go, but another part of me wants to make sure their happy, even if I'm not.

Its July now, I had just gotten home from playing with the kids on the beach. I flopped on the couch and flipped on the T.V. The news anchor was doing a story about the new baby tiger at the zoo when he was handed a sheet of paper form someone off screen.

"Breaking News coming in folks. Someone has made an attempt on Foreign Minister Darlain. Early this morning she was almost gunned down during her speech at the Children's Games in Greece. Preventers are still looking for suspects but one name has been named. Duo Maxwell, terrorist age 18, he's about 5'8 with a long brown braid and amethyst eyes. Anyone that sees this person should report to their local authorities at once. Be warned he is armed and Dangerous." I picture flashed across the screen, obviously cut out of a bigger picture. The can he was holding slid out of Duo's limp fingers and he stared at the picture of himself on the screen. He knew the whole picture; before it was cut it was of him and Heero, hugging while Wufei snuck up behind them. I copy of that picture sat on his table not 3 feet away.

"What the Fuck?!"

Tada chapter one done! Lots of sadness for Duo, but I promise things will work out in the end, I don't write death fics or ones with bad endings so please review and keep an eye out for it!

By the way all chapters will be song titles. This one was "My Happy Ending" by Avril Lavigne.


	2. 2

Hello all! Thanks for the fun reviews! I don't know how often I'll be updating, you should consider yourself lucky that I did it this soon..... :-p

Disclaimer: Don't own them never will...sniff sniff.

Everything I Wanted

Chapter 2: Vindicated

_Hope, dangles on a string,_

_Like slow spinning redemption,_

_Winding in and winding out,_

_The shine of it has caught my eye._

_And roped me in so mesmerizing, so hypnotizing._

_I am captivated, I am vindicated._

_I am selfish, I am wrong._

_I am right I swear I'm right._

_Swear I knew it all along._

_And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well,_

_I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself._

All I could do is sit there and stare, dumbfounded and hurt well past when the news anchor had switched topics. It wasn't me! How could they accuse me when I was no where near Greece? But none of that mattered now, all that mattered was that I had to leave, that picture looked too much like me for any of my co-workers not to figure it out. I had to run...again.

5 hours later on the Pacific Ocean (Switching to 3rd person, yes not good english but its needed)

Duo let out a sigh as he slug his bag over his shoulder and stepped onto the deck of the ship. Bast meowed from his perch on the braided boys shoulder, nails digging in so as not to fall off into the water.

"Duo me boy! Welcome aboard." Duo smiled as he spotted Howard walking briskly toward him. He smiled fondly at the man he considered his foster father. The two men shook hands briskly before the older man frowned slightly.

"Duo I have good news and I have bad news." Howard ushers the boy inside the ship and sat him down in a chair. It was Howards personal room, his bed was messy and his personal computer sat on the desk to Duo's left.

"Isn't that how it always is?" The braided boy joked as he leaned back in his chair. "So what is it?"

"Well the good news is the others boys have no idea you're here." Howard turned to look out the porthole window. "Though they've been here more times than I can count in the last few months looking for you." He sent a meaningful glance over his shoulder at the boy who sat behind him, seeming to the world that he didn't care about what the man was saying. But anyone who knew Duo would notice the tenseness in his shoulders and the way his lips made a thin line like he was thinking very hard.

"And the bad news?" Duo's voice was serious, Howard resisted the urge to gulp as Shinigami momentarily surfaced in the normally happy boy.

"This." Howard grabbed the edge of his laptop and turned it so the boy could see it. Amethyst eyes practically glowed as they turned to the screen that displayed a simple message addressed to Duo.

**Duo Maxwell aka Shinigami,**

**Did you like the news? I certainly did, but next time I won't miss and there's nothing the other Gundam pilots can do to stop me. But there is something you can. I will attack Relena again when she speaks at the peace conference in New York City. You are the only one that knows this, so what shall you do? Her life is in your hands, can you save her in time? Don't bother telling the others, not that they'll believe you anyway...**

**The White Orchid**

"I got that message early this morning, I tried to trace it but no luck." Howard said with a sigh. He looked over worriedly at the boy he considered a son. Catching him looking Duo smiled reassuringly.

"Howard can I get some time alone?" The old man stood with a nod and walked past him to leave. As he passed he let a hand drop onto the thin shoulders in a comforting gesture.

As the door clicked shut Duo let out an audible sigh. What was he supposed to do now? Relena was in trouble but if he got anywhere near that conference he would be arrested because they thought he was the one trying to kill her!

_That's only if you get caught._

True, not getting caught would be very difficult, especially since he knew that it meant sneaking by the other pilots, but after all his specialty was stealth.

_But do you really want to save the woman that stole the two people you loved most?_

Duo shook his head forcefully, as if that would dislodge the voice echoing in his head. It hurt, remembering how they had so easily left him, how they no longer loved him. Pain like hot lightning shot through his system, making his eyes water. Could he do it? Could he save her...

_What if you just let her die? Then maybe you can be happy again..._

"What if Relena just died?" Duo whispered hoarsely. Darkness seemed to swirl around his heart, its thick tendrils reaching for the easy answer.

"No!" Duo shouted, clenching his hands so hard his nails dug into his skin. "I am not that kind of person! Every life is precious, I know that better than anyone." Resolve firmly set in his mind and heart he turned to see Bast staring at him from the dresser, head tilted to the said in confusion. Chuckling Duo walked over and rubbed the cat behind the ears, making him purr.

"Sorry Bast but I need to leave you here for awhile, there are some things I need to take care of."

Duo snuck quietly from one shadow to the next. Dressed totally in black he blended in perfectly away from the roaming sight of the guards. What he was attempting to do was insane, it was so dangerous he needed to be invisible to pull it off, he was going to talk to Heero Yuy. Even if Heero shot him on sight his former lover still needed to know, Relena was in danger. Sneaking around a corner Duo finally made it to the small garden that was outside Heero's room, or at least what used to be Heero's room. Duo was taking a big risk, hoping Heero and Wufei hadn't moved into Relena's room with her. He wanted to catch the former Wing pilot alone. Even if Wufei was there he was screwed, two against one was not the odds he was looking for.

Carefully the braided teen scaled one of the larger trees and shimmed along the branch toward the open balcony. He froze as a guard walked hazardously below him, he was to close to be caught now. Jumping up he flipped over the railing onto the balcony and held his breath. He could hear water running quietly, meaning one of the was in the shower, praying it was Wufei Duo snuck closer and looked in.

A force slammed into him from the front rolling him onto his back. He caught sight of Prussian blue and unruly chocolate hair before his head slammed into the marble floor. _SHIT!_ Yeah he was officially screwed. Desperately Duo balked upward flipping Heero over on his back. His head spinning Duo ignored the hits aimed at him as he pulled out a special pair of handcuffs Howard made out of gundanium and looped them around the railing before grasping Heero's hands and somehow locking them around his wrists.

Panting heavily Duo straddled the silent pilot's thighs, making it so he couldn't kick. His head pulsed painfully but he shook it off as he stared at the beauty below him.

"Hi Heero." He said with a smile. Suddenly feeling more happy than he should given the situation, maybe the head injury was worse than he thought.

"Duo I swear to God I'll call the guards and!" Duo clamped his hands over the boys' mouth. The scratching of metal against stone made Duo glance at the handcuffs that were beginning to bend slightly, he knew they wouldn't be able to hold soldier for long but he just needed a little time.

"Listen Heero! This is important." Duo practically pleaded, the boy below him only glared and bit down hard on Duo's hand. Wincing Duo held back a yelp and tried to pull his hand away but Heero wouldn't give it up.

"Damn it Heero Relena's in danger!" Heero stilled and with a sigh Duo withdrew his injured hand.

"I know Relena's in danger, you're trying to kill her." Heero's voice was cold and monotone. The fact that that cold voice was directed as him made Duo want to start crying.

"NO! It's not me Heero! It's some other person, their going to attack Relena at her speech in New York City." Duo whispered harshly. "I got this e-mail and."

"Stop lying." Whatever Duo was going to say was cut off and he started in shock at the boy below him. Heero thought he was lying, he didn't believe him.

"Heero please..." Duo leaned down both his arms on either side of Heero's head as he looked him in the eye. "Please believe me, it's me, Duo. Ya know the one that doesn't lie?" Duo was begging, he knew he was and he hated himself for it, but Heero had always trusted him before, always believed in him more than anyone else.

"Leave now and never bother Relena again and I won't search for you."

_I am right I swear I'm right, swear I knew it all along._

_I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well, I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself._

Duo fell back as if he had been struck. Unfeeling Prussian eyes stared at him, no emotion flickering in their depths.

"I agree with him." Duo swung around to see Wufei standing behind him, a towel wrapped around his waist and gun in hand.

"Wufei..."

"Leave now, you don't belong here." Duo's heart dropped as he took a hesitant step back. In a surreal way he felt like he was dreaming, a haunting nightmare on a plain of glass and suddenly the glass shattered below him. The two people he loved most In the whole world wanted nothing to do with him.

_Why the hell am I here?_ Duo thought dejectedly. The pain he went through at first was nothing compared to the million pieces of his shattered heart piercing him now. They wouldn't even believe him. The world suddenly didn't seem to make much sense. He hadn't realized he was laughing until he felt the first tear trek down his cheek. He spun, not wanting them to see his shame. Boys don't cry, especially not over bastards that stomp their hearts into the ground.

"I don't care what you think of me, but I still...." Duo stopped, he couldn't see them because his back was turned to them but he could hear the gundanium snap meaning Heero was free. He suddenly wished Wufei would just shoot him and end it all. "I still love you. Nothing will ever change that, and I still believe in you guys. I don't understand what happened, but no matter what, I still love you guys and would never do anything to hurt you. Even if it means protecting the one you replaced me with." The last sentence came out as a whisper before the braided boy vaulted over the railing, not looking back.

Wufei and Heero stood on the balcony for a long time after he departed, just holding each other. Nothing was said between the two but each knew what the other was feeling, they both just stood there and watched the moon come out and run across the sky.

The click of heels on tile was echoed down the empty corridor before stopping before a partly open door.

"The message has been sent." I male voice said form inside. The woman outside smiled and walked away without a word, her plan was running smoothly, soon Duo Maxwell would wish he was never born.

Sorry this took so long everyone! But yeah there it is, poor Duo ne? Please review they remind me I have to update!


	3. 3

Hey guys! I know…I know it's been awhile, but all I can say is I'm sorry! But here's the next chapter you've been waiting for I hope you enjoy it!

Everything I Wanted

Chapter 3: Scars

_I tear my heart open,_

_I sew myself shut,_

_And my weakness is that I care too much._

_And my scars remind me, that the past is real._

_I tear my heart open, just to feel._

Someone once said that you should do anything for the one you love. Maybe in my case it should be the ones you love. That's what I kept reminding myself as I got ready. Tonight was the night, Relena was going to make her speech, and I was going to be there to make sure she lived through it. Because nothing matters anymore, as long as there happy I can live peacefully. I gave up on my own feeling a long time ago; at least that's what I believed.

(3rd person)

Duo strapped his gloves securely into place, wrapping the leather end around his wrist and hefted the bag he slug over his shoulder. He let a slight smirk slip across his features, he thought the time had passed where he would have to put these skills to use, but fate seemed to hate him. Or maybe it liked it, whoever chose the location for the peace conference must not care that someone wanted Relena dead, either that or he was just dumb.

The party was to be held on the rooftop of the downtown NCS building, one of the highest in the city. The only thing protecting people from a 67 floor drop was a simple metal railing. Dou could already find 50 ways to kill someone at that party, that is if he wished to. But he was looking for the 50 ways to keep one Relena Peacecraft/Darlain alive.

He chewed lightly on his bottom lip as he thought, sitting on his perch from the ledge of the apartment building a block away. From this height he could see the servants scurrying around preparing for the event that was only 3 hours away. But there was a problem, Duo couldn't get to close too early or he stood the chance of getting caught by security or the former gundam pilots. But if he was to far away there was a chance he would not be there in time to save Relena. His sensitive ears heard a crash and he looked over to see one of the serving girls had dropped a tray of glasses where the dancers for the band were practicing and he smiled as a crazy idea came to mind. It would almost be too easy, for him at least.

(1 hour 30 minutes till the party)

"Are we sure he will show up?" Slim hands clenched uncertainly around a pink handkerchief.

"Our sources said he has arrived in the city, but other than that we are unsure."

"I don't think this plan is a good idea…" The handkerchief was twisted more desperately.

"There's no going back now, we had a deal. You've already received your half have you not?" A cruel smile graced thin lips as the woman watched the girl in front of her shift nervously.

"Yes." The girl whispered with a sigh. "You did just as I had asked, but part of me still thinks this is wrong!" The woman slammed her fists down on the wooden table hard, making the girl jump in surprise.

"There is no backing down now Miss Peacecraft." Relena winced as her last name was hissed out. "And you will play along and do as you're told. Or shall I let an interesting story leak about how the seemingly innocent Vice-Foreign Minister used illegal drugs and hypnotic suggestion on 2 of her agents for her own selfish reasons?"

Relena paled and looked down dejectedly. "No Ms. Kizu."

"Good." Kizu stood and shook out her blonde hair. "We will have are revenge on that whore of a street rat if it's the last thing I do."

(30 minutes till the party)

Duo smiled as he looked in his reflection in the mirror. Clear golden eyes stared back at him. He lifted a hand to run through the bleach blonde strands of the wig he was wearing. The short hair looked weird on him but it ran down past his shoulders, covering his braid hidden under the loose black shirt he was wearing. It had only taken him 30 minutes of watching the dancers practice to memorize the steps, less time than it took him to find a dancer with a similar build to him. He did feel slightly bad about the boy he had to knock out just to get a spot, but hey the life of the former Queen of the World depended on it.

Glancing once more at his reflection Duo could hardly recognize himself, there was no way the other pilots would notice him. A loud knock on the door made Duo turn and tense.

"Rick come on we need to get set up!" Yelled a voice from outside the door. Duo cleared his throat and pitched his voice lower.

"I'm coming!" He yelled back. Hearing the footsteps fade away Duo let out a sigh. Running a hand over his black cargo pants he felt the assorted knives and guns hidden in their depths. It looks like it was time for all those nights at the dance club to pay off. He had already decided one way or another everything was going to end tonight.

_I'm drunk and I'm feeling down,_

_And I just wanna be alone,_

_I'm pissed cuz you came around why don't you just go home,_

_I channeled all your pain,_

_And I can't help you fix yourself,_

_You're making me insane._

_And all I can say is…_

Quatre let out a sigh as he sipped lightly at the glass of champagne he held in his hand. The party was going well, guest were mingling, chatting lightly about topics important and light. The band had taken a 30 minute break and he could see the band members mingling around the buffet table and on the dance floor. Over on the other side of the roof he could see Relena talking to an emissary from South Africa. Standing relaxed but alert at her side was Wufei and Heero. Quatre nodded as Heero's roaming gaze caught his and the perfect soldier gave a curt nod in reply before letting his gaze sweep the area again.

If Quatre thought Relena looked pale he blamed it on the Duo's visit to Heero and Wufei in the middle of the night. The 2 pilots had phoned Quatre and Trowa the morning after Duo had appear inside Relena's house, retelling Duo's impossible story about a threat to Relena's life.

A wave of sadness flooded the blonde as he thought of his braided friend. He had waited so long for news on Duo, but this is not the kind of news he wanted. Wufei and Heero were convinced that is was Duo behind all the threats, but Quatre didn't want to believe it. In his heart he knew Duo, in some ways better than Heero or Wufei ever could.

"You shouldn't look so serious; you're supposed to be enjoying yourself." If Quatre hadn't felt Trowa approach he would have been surprised. Instead he turned with a smile and hugged his lover fiercely.

"I was lost in thought." He said quietly, taking in the comfort emanating from Trowa.

"Duo." Trowa looked around the crowd again, he had search through all the guests for some sign of their amethyst eyed friend but there was none.

"Yes. Trowa I still don't believe Duo is doing this, and I want to catch the real culprit and prove it."

"We will Quatre, we will." Strong arms circled his waist and Quatre sighed. Neither of the boys noticed the blonde haired dancer slowly slip away from them with a sad smile on his face.

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut._

_And my weakness is that I care too much,_

_And my scars remind me that the past is real,_

_I tear my heart open, just to feel._

Duo wasn't sure what exactly happened, all he knew is that one second he was walking back to the stage and the next there was screaming and gunfire. He cursed and started pushing past people, fighting to get back to where he had last seen Relena. The problem was all the people were rushing away from the direction he needed to go, growling in frustration he jumped on one of the circular tables, scattering food and dishes everywhere. He scanned over the crowd and let out a stream of curses. At least 20 men armed where in a loose circle. Inside the circle Relena was being held by two bulky men as a woman with short blonde hair pointed a gun in her face. On the ground before them were the other gundam pilots, all struggling but held down by a number of armed men.

Duo had to slightly applaud Heero and Wufei who needed 4 men each to hold them down while Quatre and Trowa only need two. Duo needed a plan, and fast. How the hell had they let so many weapons slip by, something didn't feel right to the deathscythe pilot. But his first worry was the dwindling amount of guests, the roof was getting less and less populated, at least there wouldn't be any innocent casualties but that also meant Duo needed cover. Jumping down he crept toward the circle of men, hiding behind table and chairs.

The men must not have thought that they would have any resistance for there attention was focused solely on what was going on inside the circle. Good for him, very very bad for them. By now he could here Relena shrieking something or other to the woman in front of her but he wasn't really paying attention. There was no way he could take out that many men without someone noticing, he needed a way to take out as many as possible in the shortest amount of time. But time wasn't on his side this time.

"I think that you have become too much of a bother to keep alive. Goodbye Ms. Relena." The woman raised the gun to point at the shaking girls' heart. Tears slipped down Relena's face. In passing Duo wondered why Relena was so frightened now but stood her ground when she was protecting Heero from him. Maybe she was only brave when she had someone to protect. Duo could level with her there. His body was moving before he even gave thought to it.

His mind was moving lightning fast even as his body felt like it was slowing down, he saw the cruel smirk light across the mysterious woman's face. Hands reached behind his back to retrieve 2 knives, their edges curved and sharp. His mind was moving, planning even he jumped over the circle, using one of the men's face as a springboard. The wig fell from his head and he felt his braid slip out of his shirt as he flipped in the air and launched his knives at the 2 men holding Relena. They hit with deadly accuracy but Duo wasn't even paying attention, he landed before the woman and kicked her legs out from under her.

Grabbing her gun he shot 2 of the men holding Heero down and one of the ones holding Wufei. Relena's scream was echoing in his ear as he turned and dove at her, grabbing her and dragging her behind a table as all hell broke loose.

Adrenaline was pumping through his veins so fast it pounded loudly in his ears. But over it he could hear the other pilots yelling. Heero yelled a call off just like he would if they were still back in the war and Duo let out a sigh as he heard the others answer, he almost yelled 02 in response with there yells of 03 4 and 5 but stopped, they probably wouldn't care if he was safe.

Shaking his head he turned to see Relena staring at him dazed. She was muttering something over and over. Shit now the freaking girl was having a breakdown.

"Relena!" He yelled shaking her. "I need to go help them, just stay here and don't get caught!" She nodded slowly in what he hoped was agreement before he pulled out two more guns and braced himself to go back out. The smell of blood almost made him retch but he fought the feeling down and he rolled out from behind the table shooting.

_These scars remind me, that the past is real…_

Heero was confused and enraged. Confused because someone had tried to kill Relena and it was not Duo. Enraged because he had been so easily caught and the one that had turned the table had been no other than Duo. Maybe Duo was just trying to trick them, no that couldn't be right, the perfect soldier in him knew that if it was Duo, he would have done it alone.

But those were things he would figure out later, the battle was almost over but he needed to get to Relena. Suddenly the gunfire stopped. Warily Heero looked over the table he and Wufei had been hiding behind. Beside him he felt Wufei tense and rise also. The enemy seemed to be all dead but Heero knew looks could be deceiving. Movement in the corner of his eye made him turn. Relena was emerging from behind one of the table, walking on shaky legs.

"Relena get down!" Heero heard Quatres cry just as he spotted a man raising an overly large gun in Relena's direction. There was no time, Heero raised his gun but he knew the man would get his shot off before Heero would. Heero watched in a strange detachment as he saw a flash and a claw like device shoot out of the mans gun, watched as Relena's eyes widened in horror as she realized her mistake. He hardly felt the recoil as he shot his own weapon, he knew it would hit and kill the man but that didn't matter, he was too late.

Heero didn't even see Duo until the boy pushed Relena out of the way. The claw device slammed into him, wrapping around his body and trapping his arms at his sides as it threw him backwards into the railing. His heart wrenched and seemed to stop as he saw tendrils of electricity come off the device reaching toward the boy in its grasp. And then Duo scream in pain and the world seemed to come back into focus. He was up and running before he felt his legs move. His throat hurt and only when pain filled amethyst eyes met his did he realize that he was yelling Duo's name so loud it hurt.

Duo slumped to the ground as his eyes fell shut. Heero was still to far away though; a helicopter appeared over the building, the wind forcing the boys back. Heero struggled against it helplessly as he watched the same woman who had threatened Relena earlier pick up Duo and step onto a ladder lowered from the craft. The woman looked him in the eyes before smirking. It seemed in a blink of an eye they were gone. Dimly in the background he could hear Quatre calling for someone to follow the helicopter. He could feel Wufei at his side but he couldn't tear his gaze away from the small dot in the sky as it disappeared.

"Wufei…" Even to himself Heero sounded hollow. His lover hugged him fiercely.

"I know, it feels like I've lost my heart." Wufei whispered hoarsely. "What have we done? I feel like I've woken up from a long dream."

"I don't know." Heero said rising. "But I will save him."

"You mean we will." The two lovers turned to see Trowa and Quatre standing behind them, their faces grim but determined. "But Heero, Wufei, I don't understand. You guys said you didn't love him anymore, why the change now? Because he saved us?"

"I can explain that." They all turned to look at a shaken Relena. She stood firmly; as if she faltered she would break. "Heero, Wufei…I'm so sorry, but I…"

_And our scars remind us, that the past is real,_

_I rip my heart open, just to feel._

Am I the devil or what for leaving it there? I think I am. I haven't written in awhile so hopefully the fact that this one is long will appease you, and the promise that the next chapter will be out soon. The song is Scars by Papa Roach. Hope to see you all next time!


	4. 4

Well thanks to the awesome response on the first day, I'm updating again! How amazing is that it didn't take a month? I have been motivated I guess. Anyway on with the chapter! On the random note Duo torture in this chapter but nothing bad so if that makes you nervous beware! No loss of body part or anything nasty, probably because I don't like that stuff, I mean who wants Duo with only 8 fingers? Not me…

Everything I Wanted

Chapter 4: Take Me Away

_I can not find, a way to describe it,_

_Its there, inside, all I do is hide._

_I wish that it would just go away,_

_What would, you do, you do if you knew, what would you do?_

_All the pain, I thought I knew, all the thoughts lead back to you._

_Back to what was never said, back and forth inside my head._

_I can't handle this confusion, I'm unable, come and take me away…_

Duo could hear the hushed whispers in the background as he slid in and out of reality. He could feel the cold hard metal that incased his wrists and held him suspended from the ground, but he made no move to open his eyes. Even though his breathing was steady his mind was racing. He had saved Relena, but in that moment when the metal encased him and the shock waves of pain penetrated his body he wasn't so sure they were after her to begin with. It had to be him all along; there was no other way to explain it. If these people had wanted Relena dead they would have done it long before he had intervened. The hushed voices raised but he couldn't tell what they were saying, he suppressed the urge to move his wrists and test the strength of the shackles. Better for them to think he was asleep, at least that way he would buy time until someone could come save him.

Duo mentally paused in his thoughts. Would anyone come to save him? He wasn't so sure, would the other pilots even care? He almost wanted to smirk sadly; maybe they would be happy to have him finally out of the way. Duo fought the tendrils of sadness that coiled deep in him, he didn't need their help, after all he was Shinigami and he could protect himself! He had to because no one else would…

(break)

Wufei pushed down his frustration as he wrapped his arm around his tense lover. He could feel Heero's muscles twitch, reflecting his own feelings. How could he let something like this happen? The events of the past couple months flooded through his head like a hazy dream. Something had happened to him and Heero, something that had turned them away from Duo. Even now he could feel the dark feeling of uneasiness that had accompanied even the thought of Duo. It had something to do with Relena but he wasn't sure what.

But when he saw Duo just hours before, helpless and in danger something inside him seemed to break. He felt all the reasons he loved Duo rush back to him like a flood, washing away the irritation he felt when he thought of his former lover.

Relena walked quietly into the room followed by Sally Po. Trowa and Quatre who had been sitting together in the large leather chair across the room sat up straighter. Wufei could feel the unspoken tension between them. He could feel the same humming running through his veins. Relena sat in the chair directly across from the couch and settled her skirts around her; quietly Sally took a defensive position behind the chair.

"There is one thing I would like to say before anything else." Wufei tensed as Relena straightened and look him and Heero full in the eye. Her eyes were glazed like she had just been crying but also held a deep resolve. "All shall come to pass when the dragon flies across the sky on crimson wings." Wufei didn't have time to ponder the strange sentence as memories and images assaulted him mind, making him cry out in pain of the overload.

Quatre started when he heard Wufei and Heero cry out together, both pilots were clutching there head in the pain Quatre could feel coming off them in waves. He whimpered and lurched out of the chair, grasping both quivering boys in his arms in an attempt to calm them down. His heart hurt as he helped the two now trembling boys.

It took a full 20 minutes for the two men to calm down, during that time no one else in the room said anything, they just stood and watched unable to say anything. Heero was the first to move, he lurched off the couch, his face pale and drawn and rushed out of the room. Trowa rose and hurriedly followed him out of the room.

"Onna…" Quatre looked down at the pale boy he held in his arms. Wufei's skin was damp and he looked like he was on the verge of fainting. "What the fuck have you done to us?" Secretly Quatre was surprised; he hadn't heard Wufei talk to Relena like that in a very long time.

Relena sigh and looked down. Sally rested a calming hand on the girls shoulder; make the girl smile slightly at the reassurance. "Let us wait until Trowa comes back with Heero. I only want to tell this story once."

(break)

Duo knew he was found out as soon as he heard the dull thump of a door against the wall. The voices had been quiet for awhile and he had hoped that meant that he would be left alone for awhile. But like always luck didn't seem to be on his side. Heels clicked on the floor, the logical part of his mind told him it was only two people, maybe luck really was on his side.

"Duo Maxwell. We know you are awake so don't even bother trying." The voice was feminine and definatly matched the one Duo remembered from the roof top. He let his body stay limp; maybe they were just trying to trick him. Duo heard the tell tale buzz mere seconds before the pulses of electricity attacked his body. His eyes shot open as he suppressed the shout of pain that threatened to escape. A second later the pain was gone leaving him feeling weak and panting. There in front of him was the sadistic woman, smiling for the entire world like that damn Cheshire cat out of that fairytale. "Now see wouldn't it have been better if you had just followed orders?"

"Sorry, I was trying to catch up on my beauty sleep, unlike you I actually care what I look like." Her eyes narrowed in anger before she struck, Duo felt his head snap painfully to the side and suppressed a smirk. He might as well get a few jabs in before the real fun started and besides, it defiantly wasn't in his nature to follow orders.

"You will be silent!" She growled. "You will pay for all you have done; I will make sure of that!"

"Oh really?" Maybe if he kept her talking long enough he might save his neck. "What did I do? Kill you lover? Destroy your hometown? Let me clue you in woman, your in no way original. If every person related to someone I killed came after me it would be like half the world. It was a war, in war people die it's a fact, nothing more. I bet.."

"Maxwell Church." Whatever Duo was about to say died on his lips as amethyst eyes widened. How could this woman know, emotions that he thought he had gotten over surged and assaulted his senses. He didn't want to remember, did want to think about it. This woman suddenly seemed so much familiar, memories surfaced deep and painful. Her voice echoed in his head 'we need to be united!' Her hand coming to hit Sister Helen out of the way.

"That's right you little punk." The woman sneered. "Because of you so many people died, if you hadn't stolen that mobile suit then the government wouldn't have attacked the church."

"You…you were part of the resistance." For the first time since he could remember Duo felt the cold tendrils of fear lock around his chest. This woman's grudge had over 10 years to cultivate and stew.

"That's right. Some of us had gone out for supplies and when we came back the church was in ruins! All our people, all our weapons buried!" She raged, hands curled at her side in anger. "We would have won if it wasn't for you! They thought you were the only survivor but that is only because we were smart enough to leave before the clean up crew arrived and they thought all our people were in the building."

"You stupid woman, there is no way you would have won!" Duo yelled. "It took them little to no effort to destroy your people, they could have done it anytime they wanted, they were just playing with you!" He half expected the hit to come; he might have even been surprised if it didn't. What he didn't expect was the power behind it. He felt the air rush out of his lungs painfully, he closed his eyes gasping in pain. Suddenly his head was yanked up painfully by his hair. Cold amethyst eyes met burning green as the woman smiled evilly.

"I'm going to make you feel one million times the pain we had to endure." She growled. "You're going to be begging me to stop." Her eyes narrowed only slightly as the boy in front of her smirked.

"Bring it bitch." Duo drawled with as much confidence as he could. "Lets see what you got." After all, this physical pain was nothing compared to having your heart ripped out. He could handle whatever they had in store for him, and in the end he would die alone, as he should. Because Shinigami is fated to always be alone.

_All the pain, I thought I knew,_

_All the thoughts lead back to you._

_Back to what was never said, back and forth inside my head._

_I can't handle this confusion come and take me away._

_I feel, like I, am all alone, all by, myself I need to get around this._

_My words are cold; I don't what them to hurt you._

_If I showed you I don't think you'd understand…cuz no one understands…_

Relena twisted her hands nervously together; they were clammy from the light sweat that had broken out on her skin. All eyes were on her and she could feel it in the tingling in her spine, it was not helping the case of nerves she had. How could she tell them the truth? They would surely hate her, but it is a problem she created herself, one she meant to fix. In the beginning she never meant for it to go this far, so now she would have to make up for the mistakes she made. She took a deep breathe and let it out slowly, composing her thoughts.

"Please no one interrupt me until I'm done, because if you do I don't think I'll be able to finish." She started, not daring to look up into the onyx and cobalt blue eyes that she was sure were looking at her.

"Heero, you know I've always loved and admired you. You were so mysterious and alluring. But your heart was always somewhere else. And I hated it!" Relena clenched her hands together tightly as she bit down on the renewed anger that moved from deep within her. "Wufei I could understand, he was an honorable soldier and a warrior. He fought bravely in the war and continued on in the preventers after it. I came to have feelings for you both and I wanted you. I know it's selfish and dumb but I was so jealous, how could that useless street rat capture what I could not? What was so special about him? I just couldn't understand it, why was he so important to you? But there was no way I could get in between you."

Relena felt the hot tears tracing tracks down her face. Still she did not look up, so see them now would falter her resolve. "But then Ms. Kizu came to me with a proposal. She said she could give me what I wanted, and I just had to give her something small and insignificant in return. She set it all up; she had a drug specialist that could make a drug strong enough that it would work even on Gundam Pilots. All I had to do was get Heero and Wufei to stay late to go over reports. We would set up a special tape that they thought was information about a new assignment and they would watch it not realizing it was full of subliminal messages."

"It was all so simple." Relena said with a shake of her head. "I would give them a drink that had the drug in it that would make them more influenced by the messages, and just have them watch it and it would be done. They never realized anything, but then again who would suspect me? It all seemed so natural. But I never meant it to go this far, you have to believe me!" He head snapped up finally looking at the horrified eyes that stared back at her. "Please don't hate me…I don't think I could live if you did."

The room was silent far a long time only disturbed by the silent sobs of the broken woman. Everyone was in a state of awe or morbid fascination.

"So that line you said earlier…" Quatre said finally breaking the silence.

"It was a key phrase." Relena sniffed. "If said it was supposed to force their bodies to reject the drug and awake from the slightly hypnotic state they were in."

"Who is this Ms. Kizu?" It was the first time Heero had spoken and the sharp edge of his voice made everyone in the room shudder. Wufei lightly put his hand on his lover's knee, trying to be reassuring even though he was confused also.

"I don't know, she said nothing specific. Only that she used to be in the military but was no longer."

"And what did you give her in return for their affection Relena?" Trowa said quietly. Something in his heart already told him he knew what it was, but he just had to make sure, had to be positive.

"She said all she wanted was Duo Maxwell." 2 pairs of eyes, one cobalt, and one deep black narrowed murderously.

(The end…..for now….)

And there's another chapter for you! I wanted to get farther but things just dragged on and on I guess… So what should happen in the next chapter? Will Wufei and Heero get off their asses and save their former lover? Will they kill Relena? Will Duo survive what's about to happen! How will it all work out in the end? Who knows I for one don't! Anyway as always please review because look…it makes me update faster!

The song for this one was "Take me Away" by Avril. I meant to use I different artist for each chapter but I couldn't find a song that fit, so oh well! Anyway till next time!


	5. 5

I guess its time to update again! Aren't you all so lucky? Ok…moving on.

Everything I Wanted

Chapter 5: Getting Away with Murder

_Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness  
_

_I need to calculate  
_

_What creates my own madness  
_

_And I'm addicted to your punishment  
_

_And you're the master  
_

_And I am waiting for disaster_

It hurt, his skin felt like it was on fire, and his breath came in harsh gasps in the silent room. Duo lay listlessly on the floor, his hands still chained together in front of him, not that he had the strength to move, not that he wanted to. For hours that woman had taken out her anger on him, he had lost count on how many times she hit him. The hours and days seemed to slip by unnoticed until he could no longer tell how long he'd been in that hell.

The door swooshed open as amethyst eyes blinked in the harsh light. Standing in the doorway was his torturer, that hateful woman, with that all knowing smirk on her face. Duo groaned and slowly pushed himself up. He refused to look weak in front of this woman, not give her what she wanted. He suppressed a groan as his body protested him moving. He knew he had at least a few broken ribs, but those were probably the least of his worries right now.

"How do you do it?" She was kneeling in front of him; he blinked in surprise as how slow his reaction time was. "Men have broken under less, so why do you still hold on? Their not going to come for you, no one is." Her voice was cruel and it shook him to the bone. _Do not show her weakness…_

Duo smirked up at her painfully. At least he could do this still, fake that everything was going in his favor, fake that her words didn't affect him like they did. "Lady I don't need help getting away from your group of losers." Tired shoulders rose painfully in a shrug as Duo tried to look like the splintering pain wasn't bothering him. "I just haven't got anything better to do. Though I think it would be more fun being hit by someone more pretty."

The hit came hard and fast, knocking the already injured boy against the cool metal wall with a resounding smack. Duo bit his cheek hard to stop from crying out in pain, he wouldn't give her that satisfaction. Then she was there, kicking him wherever she saw an opening, damaging broken ribs farther and breaking some new ones to go with them. When she was done she was panting heavily, her eyes crazy as she stared into the defiant amethyst pools clouded in pain staring back at her. The eyes of someone who wouldn't, and couldn't be broken no matter how hard she tried.

"Why?"

Duo started in surprise, staring at the woman above him. "Why what?" At least talking was better than her hitting him, talking he could do.

"Why won't you give up? Is it this determination that sets you above us? Is this why you're a Gundam pilot?"

His vision was starting to blur around the edges as he smiled up at the woman. "Lady, this has nothing to do with determination. And it has nothing to do with being a Gundam pilot."

"Then why?"

"Because," Duo closed his eyes as he felt the darkness take him. "Even if it's painful, even if it's hopeless. I still want to believe in them this one last time; my heart won't let me do anything else."

Minagi Kizu stared down at the silent boy. She knew he wasn't dead by the slight rising and falling in his chest. And rage filled her, she quickly spun and walked out of the room, slamming and locking the door behind her. She turned to leave then stopped; turning pack to the door she opened the control panel and turned the temperature in the room down to 0 degrees. Feeling no more satisfied she turned and left.

Her thoughts spun as she walked down the hall. How could she be so utterly defeated by that boy? She had done what she had set out to do and yet she felt no happiness. This was supposed to be her revenge, this was supposed to set her free of the guilt and regret that had been shadowing her for the last 10 years. But now she felt more guilt then ever, but there was no turning back. She had promised to kill the boy who had caused their downfall, and her promise was almost complete. But this wasn't how it was supposed to be!

She slammed her fist into the wall. What made that boy so special, what made him so real? He never gave up; the fire never left his eyes no matter what she did to him. Maybe, just maybe if they had someone like him with them, things would have gone differently back then. She was jarred from her thoughts as an explosion rocked the building.

_I feel irrational  
_

_So confrontational  
_

_To tell the truth I am  
_

_Getting away with murder  
_

_It isn't possible  
_

_To never tell the truth  
_

_But the reality is I'm getting away with murder_

Heero stalked through the silent halls and slipped into an empty room. He was waiting for a sign, waiting for the bombs Quatre had set to go off. After Relena had given them the woman's name it had almost been disgustingly easy to find the warehouse she had rented. She didn't even try to cover her trail, didn't even use a fake name, but then again it could have been a trap. So they had sat down and planned. Heero had to suppress the urge to fidget through the whole meeting, he knew where Duo was, and he could go save him right then. But Quatre had insisted on a plan, and even though Heero was impatient deep down he knew it was the best way to go.

But that didn't stop the random thoughts from popping up in his head, Duo being tortured or worse, Duo being killed. The ex-pilot gripped the gun he held even tighter. He and Wufei had been the ones to volunteer to go in while Quatre and Trowa set up a diversion outside. It was important that they find Duo.

Suddenly a tremor shook the building and Heero leaned against the door as he heard rapid footsteps run by. Waiting for it to be clear he slipped out of the room and started running down the corridor in the opposite direction.

_I drink my drink and I don't even want to  
_

_I think my thoughts when I don't even need to  
_

_I never look back cause I don't even want to  
_

_And I don't need to  
_

_Because I'm getting away with murder_

Duo woke up and shivered. The room was decently colder then when he had passed out and he wondered how long he had been out. Ignoring the pain Duo slowly curled up into a ball, he smiled at the ironic situation he was in. Back when they were prisoners on the moon he, Heero and Wufei had been in a situation similar to this. His body was shivering involuntarily now; he pulled his braid around and hugged it to his chest.

He could feel his body still shivering but he couldn't feel the cold anymore. Duo knew he had to move, had to keep is body from going completely numb, but he was so tired. Every time he closed his eyes it was getting harder and harder to open them. The only thing that seemed to be working was his mind, memories flashed before his eyes. Solo, the church, meeting G, piloting Deathsycthe, meeting the other guys, falling in love. Unwillingly a single tear slipped down his cheek and he didn't even have the strength to brush it away.

_Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness  
_

_I need to calculate  
_

_What creates my own madness  
_

_And I'm addicted to your punishment  
_

_And you're the master  
_

_And I am craving this disaster_

This isn't how I wanted it to end. Someone once told me that not everyone in the world can be happy, and that happiness is different for each person. So am I being selfish to just want that happiness to continue? Haven't I lost enough already, or am I never allowed to stay happy? I started out just wanted to protect them, but I couldn't handle it, not seeing them everyday, not being able to touch or talk to them. It was driving me crazy, because the more I tried to not think of them and try to move on, the more I ended thinking of them. I didn't want much, I just wanted to be with them, and maybe I am selfish after all…

_I feel irrational  
_

_So confrontational  
_

_To tell the truth I am  
_

_Getting away with murder  
_

_It isn't possible  
_

_To never tell the truth  
_

_But the reality is I'm getting away with murder_

Heero turned the corner into a new hallway just as Wufei turned the corner from the other way. Both stopped as they spotted the woman standing in the middle of the hall in front of a large metal door. In her hand she held gun, but instead of point at either of them it was pointed at herself. He stopped to analyze the situation, all the other soldiers he had encountered had fired on him at sight but this woman was not. And then she turned to look at him and his eyes narrowed. It was the woman that had stolen Duo from them. His eyes flickered to the door at the woman's' back and back to the gun in her hand. Duo was in that room, he could almost physically feel it.

"You pilots are really amazing you know." She said almost to herself. Heero saw Wufei watching her warily from the other end of the hall. "No matter what I did he never gave up, he never stopped believing in you, having hope. Maybe if we had resolve and hope like him we could have succeeded. But we were all so bitter and hateful, the fault was our own." She turned and Heero shivered as her eyes met his. "If he survives tell that boy that I am sorry, and he can be happy now." Before he even thought to move she had raised the gun to her head and fired. Heero watched her lifeless body slump to the floor and blood began to pool. _If he survives…_

His head snapped up and his body was in motion, running toward the door even as her words had sunk in. Wufei reached it first, his pale face showing he had also heard her words. The Chinese boy slammed his gun into the panel, breaking it and the door whooshed open with a gust of cold air. And for what seemed like the hundredth time Heero felt his heart stop for a second. A second later he was in motion.

_Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness  
_

_I need to calculate  
_

_What creates my own madness_

The first thing to register for Duo was quieted voices. The second was the fact that he was warm, at least slightly warmer but his body was still shaking against his will. Suddenly he was jarred and the pain came crashing back all at once. He cried out in pain, unable to hold it back. His whole body hurt, he was so tired and physically exhausted.

"Duo…Duo?"

Warmth flooded him from the front and back and he reach for it, yearned for the comforting warmth. His head was slightly lifted and gently placed on something warm; Duo pressed his cold cheek into the warmth, burrowing closer to it. Tendrils of warmth encased him and he let out a sigh, giving in to temptation and slipping back into the darkness.

_It isn't possible  
_

_To never tell the truth_

Quatre looked into the back of the truck when he heard Duo groan in pain. The braided boy was wrapped in blankets but his shivering was still visible. Heero and Wufei kneeled beside the Duo calling his name softly.

"Guys you're going to have to keep him warm until we get home, lie with him in between you, which should work for now."

Both boys nodded in understanding and Wufei lay down in front of him while Heero lay down behind him. They both scooted together until Duo was huddled between them, his head resting on Wufei's arm. Quatre let a small smile slip as he heard Duo sigh in contentment.

(THE END?)

Well it's the end for now….So Duo has been saved. But is the damage already done? And will he forgive Heero and Wufei? You're just going to have to read on to find out.


	6. 6

Wow…it's been almost 2 years since I updated this; I'm so ashamed of myself. I'm sorry guys! But for sure this series will be finished! I promise! The other ones too….

Everything I Wanted

Chapter 6: Blue and Yellow

_And it's all in how you mix the two_

_  
And it starts just where the light exists_

_  
It's a feeling that you cannot miss_

_  
And it burns a hole through everyone that feels it_

How strange, that feeling you have just at the edge of waking up, the sense that you're not in your own body, like your watching yourself from somewhere far away. You can hear voices talking over you but only feel obligated to listen, never making the effort to speak out. Content to just watch, to be invisible. In that place, that state of mind where worries and pain don't exist, only you.

Duo didn't know exactly when he had woken up; one second he was nothing then the next pain shocked through his abused system, making him retch and sit up suddenly, causing even more pain to race through his body. Amethyst eyes opened sharply as Duo gasped for air, feeling his chest stretch and burn with each intake of air. Only dimly would he realize he was alone in a familiar room, the stark blue curtains that covered the windows and the high white walls registering in his mind like a warning. He was back at the house he had left more than 4 months ago, in his room he had promised never to return to.

The soldier in Duo started taken a damage report, his ribs felt tender but not broken, or maybe already healing. A bandage wrapped around his head, covering a bump he felt in the side of his forehead. His limbs felt sluggish but not too injured. Overall if he needed to, he was able to run.

"Duo………ick…….eld"

Hearing Quatre approaching made him slip back under the covers. He didn't want to be discovered yet, better to figure out what was going on first. Taking a couple deep breathes Duo slowed his heartbeat to something close to sleep and closed his eyes just as the door opened.

Staying at a stillness that only training could produce Duo listened as the sound of footsteps approached his bed, the mattress dipped next to him and a warm hand was placed upon his head. The scent of sweat and earth met his nose making him almost blink his eyes open.

_Heero???_

"Why hasn't he woken up yet Quatre?" There was no mistaking that slightly nasal voice and Duo's heart skipped a beat.

"Heero, he's suffering from major wounds both physically and mentally. Sally said we'll be lucky if he ever even wakes up the same again. He could be traumatized or worse, he might never wake up again!" Duo felt sympathy as he heard the sorrow in the blonde's voice.

"He has to wake up Quatre," The hand traveled up to run through Duo's bangs in a familiar gesture.

Duo's mind was racing, what was Heero saying, why was he even there? He stayed as still as possible while the boys sat in silence looking down on him. The minutes ticked by like hours, until finally the two boys silently left, leaving Duo to his pondering.

Quatre knew Duo was awake, could sense the moment when pain was the only thing prevailing in Duo's mind. Now as he walked down the stairs by the ever silent perfect soldier he could feel the confusion coming off of his dear friend. How could he help? How could he explain what had happened with Relena? No matter what way he looked at it Duo would be hurt and even more confused.

They had reached the bottom of the stairs and Quatre hardly noticed as Heero broke off to head towards the training gym where he knew Wufei would be waiting. Exiting through the back door he plopped down by the garden he had just put in last week and started randomly pulling out weeds, too lost in thought to even care that his crisp clean clothes were getting dirty.

Duo had been through so much already, what if his trust was completely shattered? What if his heart couldn't take anymore?

"You have dirt on your cheek." Quatre started at the voice beside him and turned to see Trowa crouching in the dirt beside him. Quatre flushed and without thinking swiped his hand across the indicated cheek, only after realizing his hand was also covered in dirt, effectively making the mess worse.

"Quatre." A hand stilled his effort and Trowa leaned forward, his eyes intent on Quatre's cheek.

"Trowa what are you…?" Quatre stopped in mid sentence as green eyes turned their hypnotizing force fully on him. His stomach clenched in nerves and anticipation of the fierce look held in those green eyes that came closer and closer. A soft silky wetness caressed his cheek and only then did Quatre realize Trowa's intentions.

"Trowa stop!" Blushing bright red and embarrassed Quatre tried pulled away. "You don't lick dirt off of people!" Trowa pulled him back and ducked in, successfully capturing the surprised Quatre in a searing kiss. Soft lips met and Quatre groaned, Trowa tasted like spice and lemons, but also like the dirt he had just stolen from Quatre's cheek. The combination nearly drove Quatre crazy, kissing Trowa was like a drug to him, he couldn't live without it, but it felt dangerous and addicting. He let his eyes drift shut and just enjoyed the moment of feeling completely content with the person he loved.

Duo crept around the corner, keeping low and listening hard so he wouldn't get caught. He needed to know what was going on, and Duo knew only one way to do that. He had borrowed a pair of loose sweatpants from Quatre and a black t-shirt, knowing the blonde wouldn't mind in the slightest. He was slightly concerned by the fact that his ribs were hurting outrageously and he was feeling a little dizzy, but he had to go on. His mind was racing through the possibilities, why had Heero been there, why had Heero touched him? He had to find out the answer.

Voices around the corner made him still, his chest clenched as he heard the low murmur of Wufei and Heero. Crouching Duo peered carefully around the corner to see his two former lovers sitting at the kitchen table talking over cups of coffee. Duo ached to join them, to run in the room and jump in Wufei's lap just to see him frown in that cute way that was only Wufei. It had been so long since he had seen them for a long period of time in person, he was so close he could almost smell them, but that just might have been his mind playing tricks on him. Duo scooted towards the edge with his back to the wall, checking the angle to make sure he couldn't be seen.

"We have to go see Relena tomorrow." Duo started and scooted back more when he heard Wufei speak.

"We haven't seen her since this all went on. It's about time we head back." Duo held back a gasp as tears pricked his eyes as he heard Heero's familiar voice. They weren't even going to wait and make sure he survived; they were going to go back to Relena. Clamping a hand over his mouth to keep the scream he felt building from escaping, he edge backward. This was a bad idea, he knew he shouldn't have come to find out, he knew he shouldn't have let hope glimmer for one second, because it hurt so much more when it went out again.

_well you're never gonna find it_

_  
if you're looking for it _

_  
won't come your way_

_  
well you'll never find it_

_  
if you're looking for it_

Duo's mind was in chaos, he wanted to bang his head against the wall, and he wished he had never woken up. So lost in thought Duo didn't hear the scrapping that signaled chairs being pushed away from a table and a set of footsteps walk away while another approached.

"Duo?" The world seemed to freeze as Duo's gaze slowly rose to meet the cold cobalt eyes staring down at him. Heero… the name repeated itself like a mantra in Duo's head making his breath come shallow and his heart race. Heero was standing over him looking down, his face expressionless. Seeing those emotionless eyes made something pull inside Duo and snap. Quickly he stood, trying to cover his embarrassment with being caught with a signature grin.

"Sorry Heero I was coming to the kitchen for some food and had to take a little break, you know, injuries and all that fun stuff." The words spilled, tripped and ran faster than Duo would normally have let them. He looked everywhere but at Heero, it hurt too much to even think to look at the person he loved right now. Emotions built and threatened to spill over and explode, he had to get away, he had to escape.

"Well anyway I'm feeling rather tired so I'm going to head back to bed, seeya around Heero." Don't look at him, don't look at him, Duo's mind was screaming. If he looked at him everything would fall apart, boys are strong, boys don't cry. Duo turned away and started to walk as quickly as his injured body could back to his room.

Fingers like steel rods wrapped around his wrist, halting his progress. Duo stopped, unsure of what to do. He tugged weakly at the captured arm, knowing already that he wouldn't get free that easily.

"Heero I'm tired let me go." Duo stared at the doorway to his room; freedom is the design of simple wood only 30 feet away from him.

"Look at me Duo." It was almost a command, Duo almost obeyed.

"No Heero."

"…Why not?"

Duo saw red, how dare Heero tell him he no longer wanted him, try to kill him, accuse him of lying, save him and then go back to Relena. His fist was flying at Heero' face before he even realized he had acted. Even though his rational mind knew Heero would catch it, he didn't care anymore.

Heero caught his arm mid swing, Duo knew he would, what he didn't expect was Heero to push him roughly against the wall, effectively pinning him with his arms trapped beside his head. So Duo did the only thing he could think of.

"Fuck you Heero! You and Wufei can go fuck that pink bubblegum princess as much as you want." He could feel the tears welling and hated himself for it, hated the weakness that Heero and Wufei brought him. Hated how much he loved them. "I don't care who you love, I don't care what you do, and I care about you as much as you care about me, which is not at all! So you and Wufei can go…"

Suddenly warm, soft lips were covering his own. Duo froze in shock mid sentence as his knees went weak. Heero caressed his bottom lip making Duo open his mouth automatically.

_should've done something but I've done it enough_

_  
by the way your hands were shaking_

_  
rather waste some time with you_

Duo weakly struggled, already knowing there was no way he could get away from Heero's iron grip. Heero tasted so good, so familiar, Duo had to groan as the perfect soldier explored his mouth. It could have been a day, a second, maybe an eternity, but suddenly Duo could breath again. He knew his face was bright red and his legs were shaking, Heero always had that effect on him.

"Who do you think I love?" At the question Duo looked up into fierce cobalt eyes. What was he trying to do? What was he trying to say? Duo was confused; he didn't want to hope,

"I don't know Heero." Duo was verging on it; he could feel the tears threaten to fall if he so much as breathed. "I don't know what to believe, I can't think straight. I don't know who to trust."

"Trust me! Trust Wufei!" The answer was fierce and Duo felt in reciprocated in the hands clenching around his already bruising wrists. It was the answer Duo had been waiting for, and yet the one he could no longer understand. It was as if he had waiting to long, the words had lost their meaning along the way. He had imagined himself smiling and falling into Wufei and Heero's arms and just being happy. But he couldn't imagine that anymore, he was scared to.

"How can I?" The words felt like acid spilling out of his mouth. Knew they hit their mark when Heero tensed up. And he hated himself for it.

"What's going on here?" Both jumped and looked to see Quatre stalking down the hallways towards them. Heero quickly let go of Duo's arms in attempt to explain himself, giving Duo all the opening he needed. Duo did the only thing that his confused mind could comprehend, he ran as fast as he could.

_rather waste some time with you_

Yup I'm leaving you guys there, nice aren't I? Seeya all next time and remember to review!


	7. 7

Hey everyone! Back again for another installment of the story you love to read. Heh I guess you love to read anyway, thanks everyone for all the reviews! (camillion, abyss, Fox loves Shinigami, Slate Grey, Fluffy's Brevis, guess, Solo-chan, Cheery Fantasy, and Sailor C. Ryoko.)

The first person to review this next chapter will randomly appear in the next chapter! And maybe so will some other reviewers! Isn't that good incentive? Except you'll have to excuse my creativity because I have no idea what any of you look like. So lets get on with it!

Everything I Wanted

Chapter 7: Cat and Mouse

_Softly we tremble tonight,  
picture perfect fading smiles are all that's left in sight,  
I said I'd never leave you'll never change  
I'm not satisfied with where I'm at in life._

Am I supposed to be happy?  
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.  
Am I supposed to be happy?  
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.  
You said, you said that you would die for me...

Some people say running away from your problems is cowardly; it's an avoidance of an issue. But who are they to judge?

Duo sighed contently as the cool breeze whispered through his hair and over his skin. His ribs still ached and his muscles twanged as he stretched, but that was to be expected with only have 2 weeks to heal. Amethyst eyes opened lazily to survey the clear blue ocean sprawled in front of him. 2 weeks of healing, 2 weeks of hiding. Duo almost smiled to himself, Howards ship wasn't the most secretive of places to run away to, heaven knows Quatre had been there twice and Heero three times looking for him. It hadn't been that hard to hide from them when they did come, because that's what he did best.

Something soft brushed against his cheek and Duo turned slightly to smile softly at Bast as she came to settle next to him on the deck of the ship. He absently petted the cat as he let his thoughts wander. They couldn't stay hidden on Howards ship forever, Duo knew that for sure, but there was no where he really wanted to go. He was still confused, Heero and Wufei had talked about returning to Relena, but then Heero had kissed him. Had looked at him in that way only Heero could. Duo touched his lips as if the act itself would make the memory less confusing, less painful. He didn't understand, Heero had come looking for him, multiple times even but he had never said anything, only grunted when Howard said Duo wasn't there then silently stalked around the ship until he concluded that Duo was in fact not there.

And what about the Chinese boy? Wufei had never come to look for him, at least of what Duo knew of. What was Wufei doing, what was Wufei thinking? Duo almost sighed as he realized he was thinking of them again. With a groan he sad up and scratched his head. He needed to get away, somewhere where everything didn't remind him of them, somewhere with no TV, so he would never see her.

Duo stood and stretched, working the kinks out of his system. A demanding meow made him look down and smile.

"Where would you like to go now Bast?"

_We made plans to grow old,  
believe me there was truth in all those stories that I told.  
Lost in a simple game cat and mouse are we the same people as before this came to light?_

Wufei almost growled in frustration, the injustice! That man Howard was hiding Duo, or at least knew where his run away lover was. Though the Chinese man had never gone to pester the old man himself reports from Heero and Quatre told him all he needed to know. That old conger was playing a game he didn't like. Onyx eyes snapped in frustration as Wufei started out the bay window of Quatre's Florida mansion, if only they cold meet with Duo, talk to him, explain everything. But what if he wouldn't believe them? Being hypnotized into lusting for someone he didn't want, the mere thought made him shudder at his own weakness.

Warm arms encircled his waist and a head leaned on his shoulder, chocolate locks gently brushing his cheek. "What's wrong dragon?" The words were gently, uncommon when you think about who they came from. But they still made Wufei smile and lay his hands over the arms holding him.

"I was thinking…about him."

'We'll find him." The determination in Heero's voice made Wufei's heart skip a beat. Yes, they would find him, but what would happen after that? They had pushed him away so hard, so painfully would he ever take them back, would he ever get to see Duo's mischievous smile again?

A tan hand lifted to turn his face so he was staring into clear cobalt eyes. Lips skimmed across his cheek, trailing a path of fire. "You think you much dragon. We will find him, and we will tell him everything."

"What if he runs?" Wufei's voice was a breathless whisper as Heero licked the sensitive junction of his neck.

"We follow."

_Am I supposed to be happy?  
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price._

Duo let out a breath of relief as he set down the last box in his new apartment. The gleaming wood floor was piled with large cardboard boxes, stores of stuff Duo kept in storage as he moved around. The apartment was large, on the 3rd floor overlooking the beach in North Carolina. Due to custom it had more windows then walls, which suited Duo just fine. He liked his places large, with lots of exits in case the need arise. He had so much left to do, drawing a black baseball cap out of a stray duffle bag he pulled up his hair to snuggly fit inside it. Amethyst eyes were one things but a 3 foot braid was way to recognizable but the boy couldn't bare to get rid up it.

"Bast I'll be back later!" Duo called to the slinky cat currently adjusting herself on the couch. As Duo exited the apartment he noticed the only other housing on the floor was still for sale. He shrugged it off, it was a newly built building, he'd get a neighbor soon. More importantly right now was getting a job.

Duo slipped a pair of sunglasses on as he stepped onto the busy sidewalk. People milled around him and swept by like pulled by a current. Taking a deep breath he started moving with the crowd, his eyes scanning windows and doors for tell tale "Help Wanted" signs. He could work at a big company, he could be a computer programmer but those were too obvious for someone looking for him. And he didn't want a job that came with walls and suits and ties, he wanted freedom.

In his musings he had almost missed it, the black and orange glaring sign surrounded by so many other colorful designs in the window. Duo's eyes widened a little in surprise as he stared at the tattoo parlor window. Of coursed he had seen tattoo places before but had never had the time to actually go in. A smile crept its way onto his face, what signified freedom more than a tattoo? Duo wasn't so sure about his drawing abilities and he had never contemplated giving someone a tattoo, but it was worth a shot anyway. With his trademark Duo Maxwell grin in place he strutted through the door.

_You said, you said that you would die for me_

"Howard where is he?" Heero grunted out through gritted teeth. He was so frustrated he felt like throwing the grinning old man over the edge of his boat. Howard just silently smiled at him, if his sunglasses were off Heero was sure he would have a twinkle visible in his eye.

"Well Sonny, he was here I can tell you that. But he's already moved on." Howard wasn't feeling very generous with these boys, he had seen the hidden pain in Duo, was close enough to even feel it.

Heero clenched his fist trying to control his anger. He knew Duo would go here, he knew it but this foolish old man had hidden him!

"Where is he now?"

"Why do you need to find him?" The older mans calm question startled Heero. Slowly he unclenched his fists, relaxing all his tense muscles. Anger and force wouldn't get through to this protective old man.

"Because we need him." The words were quiet.

"You didn't a couple months ago."

Heero's head shot up in anger. "You think you know everything! I know we made a mistake; we need to atone for it. I want to see him; I want to explain it to him!'

Heero was almost panting in the effort to not throttle the old man now grinning at him. What was that old geezer so happy about, he reminded Heero to much of those annoying doctors and their meddling ways.

"It's about time you last your cool boy." Howard said patting the tense boy on the back. "How about you come inside and explain this to me and I'll tell you where my boy Duo has gone."

_Lost in a simple game cat and mouse are we the same people as before this came to light?_

Duo stared at himself over his shoulder in the mirror, astonished at how a simple tattoo can change his whole outlook. An elegant white feathered wing extended across his left shoulder blade while a sinfully dark feathered wing extended over the right shoulder blade. Underneath was a line in both Chinese and Japanese.

"Cat you did an amazing job!" Duo exclaimed turning to smile at the thin dark haired woman next to him. Tattoos covered her arms and any visible skin, her face held elegant spots and whiskers.

"Well you know Duo, anyone who works in a tattoo shop has to actually have a tattoo." The 28 year old said with a smile. Owner of the shop known as Infinity she had hired the boy on the spot, liking his personality and charm.

"Come on Cat I'm only working the desk and taking peoples orders, and cleaning and helping out. Its not like I'm doing tattoos."

"Oh you will Duo, you will." Duo made a face at her but couldn't help when it broke out into an even bigger smile. He had found the perfect workplace, and this was only the beginning. He patiently waited as Cat put the protective gauze around his back and smoothed it down.

"By the way Duo, you never told me what the writing says, you wrote it out and never told me."

Duo smiled gently knowing she couldn't see him. "It's message that's very important to me."

_You said, you said that you would die for me..._

You must live for me too

End Chapter 

That's the end of this one folks! Get on with the reviewing so I can get on with the writing!


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